Did you say -MORE- Jello Shots?

It's been well over a year since my last post.  Sorry about that!  I'll have to post some quotes and funny business sometime soon.  I figured that my reappearance into the blog world had best be a doozy.  So, without further {text removed to speed things up}:

I may only have one confirmed fan in my Jello Shot making endeavors (hello, Detroit!).  My last post on this topic was in February of 2010, in which I described my better-than-before methods for making shots (click here to reminisce--we'll wait for you!).  The following instructions and such supersede any of that stuff! 

A bit of it all remains, for the most part, unchanged.  The recipes and cup procedures haven't been altered.  New flavored vodkas on the market have spiced things up a bit, however.  The biggest change is in the pouring of the shots, as you shall see.

Innovations:

• big trays (think cafeteria or mall food court tray sized, I found mine at Costco Business, in a 6-pack for under $11 for large red ones--cookie sheets are fine, if you've got them in size and quantity)
• plastic carafes with lids (sturdy, hold a 3.5 +/- cup batch just fine, withstand the temperature {meant to be washed in commercial dishwashers}, acquired at Smart & Final--a bit pricey at 2 for $15 or so, but worth it)
• sno-cone pumps (they dispense 1 ounce with each pump, withstand the the temperature, and are less than $2, again at Smart & Final)
• labels (okay, this may be a bit overkill--alright, fine, a lot overkill, but previous methods like numbering the lids and having a chart or tossing all of the same flavor in one container with a big label on it--well, drunks just hate that sort of shit, but at 4 or 5 cents per label, and a lot of extra time and effort with your printer {do you even have any cyan ink right now?}, maybe the drunks will have to f'ing deal with it.)

So, I made a hole that was wide enough for the sno-cone pump to fit into the lid of a carafe.  Pretty wide hole, because the cylinder is sized as such to pre-measure an ounce as you're pumping--neat!  (As a side note, when asked by your father {or whomever has one} why you need to borrow a hole-drillbit, just lie, it's way easier!)   With the pump in the lid, I measured how long the uptake tube needed to be, and trimmed it at a 45-degree angle (to avoid vacuum situations at the base of the carafe).  That, and the trays--yeah, those are my innovations.

You'll see in the pictures that I was able to take 3 trays of about 33 cups and 4 carafes full of hot batches, and quickly put them into business.  What's neat about the pump is that it pours an ounce--every time (until the carafe runs out, when you go into manual mode!).

First you prime the pump.  Put it into a carafe, securing the lid tightly.  Slowly pump downward, with the spout into a run-off container.  The first pump is nothing, on the upward stroke the pump loads itself internally.  So, now you begin the second pump, but nothing comes out at first.  Stop as soon as something comes out into the overflow.  Release the pump (slowly, as always!) and now it is primed.  Every downward stroke will now pump 1 ounce into a cup.  I do not recommend pouring directly into the cups--the speed at which the liquid comes out is too much.  I used one of my handy squishy silicone measuring cups (the 1 cup size), and then pour into the cup.  It may take slightly longer, yes, but it's an ounce, you get more cups poured that way, and there's no mess.  I had very few accidents.  The cups don't get messy, so there's no cleanup.

Cleaning up your tools is pretty quick.  You'll eventually get a pump-stroke that sucks in air.  Stop.  Take the pump out a bit of the carafe, and pump into your cup a few times, some liquid will spray/spurt out.  Here's a tip:  invert the pump, with the spout over your pour cup, and a significant amount will pour out.  Neat!  There's some left in the carafe, too--pour that in.  Now, measure that out into 1 ounce portions and pour into cups.  The rest?  Add that to cups you feel are a bit lonely.  Rinse everything.  Yay!

At this point, I just repeated with 3 more carafes.

4 carafes, 3 trays of shots, you should have about 100 shots made.  Quickly, easily, etc.

Well, in all, I repeated the process with 4 carafes 4 times, and once with 3 carafes (for the sugar-free batches), for just shy of 500 from the 16 batches.  Note: sugar-free batches are less volume than sugar batches, you'll get less cups.

After chilling and lidding, I put on labels.  I went overboard, yes.  But check them out!

The ones on the top were made in Word, with a template by 3M.  Yuck.  Avery labels were more expensive, but pointed me to their free software, which worked out a lot nicer, and allowed for printing options (just a row or two if you need).  400 labels will run about $16-$20 depending on brand and purchase location. Shut up with the overkill already! Avery 8293, or 3M 4200-M styles.

Now we should talk about recipes.  Not so much a change in fundamentals here:  use 2 cups of water, mix in a large (6 ounce) or two small (3 ounces each) box of Jello mix.  After that debacle (avoid messes!), add 1 cup of alcohol.  This would make 3 cups, you think--and you'd be right if we were talking sugar-free.  If you were making a regular sugar batch, the sugar apparently adds about half a cup of volume.  The carafes fit the 3.5 cups of almost-boiling liquid just fine.  I'm frickin' amazed that the carafes and pumps had no problem making about 500 shots, without a gargantua-mess and perma-stains on the floor.

What has changed is the selection of vodkas.  I'm not just talking lemoney.  They've got stuff like marshmallow, whipped cream, cake, and even red gummy fish (I'm sure they'd say Swedish Fish if they wouldn't get their vodka asses sued).  Previously I used a lot of vanilla vodka for the creamy stuff--but man, these new vodkas make a great flavor.  One cup is all you need to impart a good flavor of cream or cake.  Strawberry cake (strawberry jello, cake vodka) was a hot commodity at the last shindig.  The brands?  Pinnacle (look for blue bottles, I got mine at the local Lee's Discount Liquor), and Smirnoff (they had marshmallow).

Pinnacle is about $13 for a 750mL bottle, and $19 for a 1.75L.  It's 70 proof, and available in the following flavors: Apple, Banana, Berry, Blueberry, Butterscotch, Cake, Cherry, Cherry Lemonade, Cherry Whipped, Chocolate, Chocolate Whipped, Citrus, Cotton Candy, Espresso, Grape, Gummy, Kiwi-Strawberry, Le Double Espresso, Melon, Mango, Orange, Orange Whipped, Pomegranate, Raspberry, Root Beer, Tropical Punch, Vanilla and Whipped Cream.

Nice!  I have only tried the whipped cream, cotton candy, and cake--and have had zero complaints.  Everyone likes it when they're tasty shots, with a decent amount of alcohol (1/3 of a shot of 70 proof isn't that bad), because they can try a variety.  If you go frat style (100% alcohol), you lose a lot (in so many ways).

I still recommend the following method for consumption:  Shake the damn thing--violently.  Upside-down works best, with the lid still on.  Harder!  British nanny style!  Okay, it's now released from the bottom of the cup, and you're barely even out of breath.  Remove the cup--not the lid!  It's upside-down, so it's either very unintuitive or natural depending on the state of your average drunk partygoer.  Your shot is on the lid.  Decorate with a bit of real whipped cream from a can, and you're well on your way to yummyness.

Go!  Make!  Partake!

Click the link for pictures, or watch the slideshow below!

Picasa Album: New techniques for Jello Shot making