Strawberries and...

When Midge (Erika) and I went to the Farmer's Market in San Luis Obispo, we bought two entire flats of fresh strawberries (and some cherries and snap peas). It seemed like a large amount at the time, but within a few days of returning back to the boiling heat of Vegas, the strawberries were gone. Only a few weeks at most goes by these days without us mentioning something about going back.

(fast forward)

Envision in your head what wonderful culinary items could be created with strawberries. Now throw that all away. I'm about to blow your mind.

Let's see... Tasty strawberry dishes...

• Strawberries and cream (whipped, or fresh, or fugitalltogether and use sugar)
  
• Strawberry shortcake (including Longhorn's mile-high strawberry shortcake--which, albeit tasty, falls well short of a mile)
• Chocolate-covered strawberries
• Strawberry pie
• Strawberry daiquiris
  
• Strawberry margaritas
• Strawberry chicken

Wait... Did the fat guy just say strawberry... chicken??

Yes. The Google points to over 9,000 pages for it. Had I ever heard of it prior to last week? No.

(rewind button)

It was probably at least a little bit my fault for getting Mary Ann addicted to Golden Flower Chinese food. My family has been frequenting the stripmall location for well over a decade, and I had a been coming back for several months now after a hiatus of unknown reasons. Their 'Best of' ratings for several years in the 2000s says nothing about the horrendous tastiness one encounters for their cheap (<$7 for lunch) eats. Everyone that goes becomes an instant fan, and seeks it out whenever possible. Again, I'm only going to apologize a little for having taken Mary Ann.

What followed that brief lunch encounter is tastebud history. It seems she had taken her roommate on a subsequent weekend, in which their dinner was both lemon chicken, and a dish I'd never heard of--strawberry chicken. Yes, I had the same reaction to that last bit. When asked just what it tasted like, I didn't get a proper response. All I knew is that from the look on her face, it had to have been wonderful. In fact, she said something almost apocraphyl and blasphemous... that it tasted... like a smoothie.

I'll be damned if she wasn't right.

(fast forward)

CIS 728 was wonderful as usual. I wasn't dead at all. I didn't have a headache. I was certainly not hungry. One student in particular was quiet and certainly not annoying

After exchanging text messages about a former instructor (who, incidentally, sounds and even looks a little bit like Will Ferrell) and his awful jokes {dare I mention?}, a solitary innocent message from me wafted its way through the ether. In reality, the message need have only traveled about 20 feet, but it probably bounced its way through some cell towers here and there, and possibly even through the state of Missouri... "I am thinking Golden Flower... Mmmm..."

I'm pretty sure the first thought through her mind was, "Ohh, that bastard...", but the actual message back said, "I just lost all my focus... Now I'm thinking of fruit flavored chicken!"

(more fast forwarding)

We decided on dinner option A, but with strawberry chicken added. I'd pay to hear what the waitress thinks when I come in--especially when I do something like order an entire dinner option (sweet and sour pork, chow mein, fried rice, appetizers), and then tack on another entree. Probably rhymes with 'fat duck'. Thank you. Thank you. (That's a Golden Flower joke).

After the appetizers, dinner option A's entrees arrived. The strawberry chicken was to come later--I think they were building up the anticipation on purpose. When it finally arrived, I noted how I hadn't seen such a dark red sauce outside of the realm of desserts. Picture sweet and sour chicken, but with slices of strawberry in a dark red compote.

The smell? Strawberry shortcake.

The taste? Strawberry smoothie. With chicken.

As if I weren't addicted already.

The good news is that the leftovers filled two entire large styrofoam takeout boxes. It was at least two hours before my leftover strawberry chicken was consumed in a fit of deliciousness.